This Newborn Baby Soap is pretty cool, but I already smell like a newborn baby.

You mean you smell like flowers and nature and candy and powder? Sugar and spice and everything nice?

No, I mean I smell like I’ve been sitting in my own filth for about 2 hours while my parents neglect me. Been crying about it at the top of my lungs too. What do you have to do to get some service around here?