Tag: baby

Baby Maggot Purse

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Baby Maggot Purse
Where’s my purse? Well, it just didn’t get up and walk away. That’s not true if you are rocking the Baby Maggot Purse. It’s a baby, it’s apparently a maggot according to the seller and it will hold all of your important stuff. When you get home just drop it on the floor and it will put itself away. And all will be well until one day when you need to put it to sleep with a shotgun and then burn it in the fireplace. Trust me, it can happen.

Until then, enjoy.

The armored spine is a nice touch. The Baby Maggot Purse is not only evil, but also tough as hell. And apparently this thing is royalty judging by that tiny crown on it’s dead-eyed head. King of the maggots I guess. This thing is definitely nightmare fuel. Much like the baby maggot necklace.

Weird Fetus Art

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Weird Fetus Art
What do we have here? This piece of Weird Fetus Art is… all wrong. Good to know. We got some lightning striking the demon-looking fetus in the womb, some various organs, some weird alien stuff for the kid to sit on and chill… It’s pretty ominous. I don’t like to judge art, but the artist themselves have already proclaimed it “all wrong”. Saves me a few sentences. Is that thing with the green ooze the bladder? Oh man, somebody’s gonna piss fire and the kid is at the controls.

Maggot Baby Necklace

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Maggot Baby NecklaceThis Maggot Baby Necklace is a terrifying accessory. He just hangs there looking gross and even has like a stone third eye so it can hypnotize you with a disturbing lullaby, then crawl all over you leaving a slimy trail in its wake. I’ll take two. I wrote a poem about it.

Tag it, bag it,
Hurry up and snag it.

I just bought a maggot.

Better than Bob Saget.

Austin Powers wanna shag it.

Thank you. Thank you. My 3rd-grade education is really paying off.

Creepy Baby Head Candles

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Creepy Baby Head Candles
Holy f**k! These Creepy Baby Head Candles are some serious nightmare fuel. Oh hello, baby Hannibal Lector. Glad ya got that faceguard in so you don’t eat my flesh. Basically, you creep me the hell out so excuse me while I light your wick and watch your baby face melt. There’s also a version where the baby’s brain is exposed. I’m burning all of these down so they can’t hurt anyone ever again. It reminds me of general custer, but his head is much bigger and in a box.

Insane Clown Fetus In Search Of Juggalos

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Insane Clown Fetus
Look at thisclown fetus. He’s saying, “What am I some kind of joker? Do I amuse you? Do I make you laugh?” Uhhh. Not really. I kinda want to cry and hide in the corner while calling for my mom. Sucking my thumb is optional, but Imma do it anyway. Is that your umbilical cord or… I don’t want to know. Damn son! Are you with the Insane Clown Posse or did you just come outta an insane clown p*ssy? I think I know the answer.