Tattoo This Guy’s Butt
Ebay seller hvandyk1 is going through some tough times. His family is currently homeless and they need $7500 to secure an apartment. So he did what anyone would do. He turned to Ebay and offered up his buns for money, thereby setting off our creep detector. If they need money, that’s cool,(Hopefully that isn’t a lie) but just be aware that you have entered the creep zone with your offer.
For a starting bid of $3,000.00 or a Buy It Now of $7,500.00 you can tattoo his butt cheeks. I don’t know. Seems steep. When I got my cheeks inked to look like two Kirbys from Nintendo fighting, I just got drunk, passed out and bam! Free tattoo. Still stings a little. Only cost me the price of two beers. I’m a lightweight. Well, I’m heavier now. That’s why when I passed out again, they inked “Super Cellulite Smackdown” for my tramp stamp and added some other characters.
Anyway, the dude isn’t doing to well selling space on his dump trumpet. He has tried several times and failed to entice any interest in one human marking another forever for their own pleasure as well as bragging rights.
Here it is in all it’s doughy and pasty glory. I’ve hidden his crack because it distracts from my objectivity as an artist. I’m trying to come up with a good design and that thing just kept sucking me in like a crusty black hole. He has provided some boxes to show you the areas where it is okay to brand him with your mark.