Honey, I love you so much. I always said that I would give you the moon and stars. Well, here is your moon, my precious angel. *Hands over the closed box containing the Moon Ring.* Oh honey, you are the most thoughtful man. I am so lucky to have you- *Opens box as a miniature butt farts on her.* You’re sleeping on the couch tonight! And every night!
Tag: butt
Weird Buttface Taxidermy Heads – ButtSquatch
Brokencog makes sasquatch heads out of animal butts and other assorted parts. More like Butt-Foot or Ass-Squatch. These are fugly Dr. Seuss looking characters that I’m pretty sure exist in the “Tripping acid realm”, cuz I’ve seen em there. I think I bought a used car from one in the “tripping balls realm” once, which turned out to be a tricycle, only I didn’t find out until I made like 3 payments. The point is, don’t trust these guys. Or this guy.
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This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort
Hmmm. I’m not seeing it. Oh there it is! Nevermind, that was just the mirror. This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort. From Harry Potter. I’ve seen cat butts that looked like Winston Churchill and I’ve seen cat butts that look like Harrison Ford, but I ain’t never seen no cat butt that looks like Voldemort. Until now.
Ohhhh. Now I see it. It also looks like he has a long tongue. Hairless cats are weird. Also, I’m pretty sure this is some kind of geek prophecy that heralds an end to nerds living in mom’s basement and the coming of an actual female.
Sweeeet! I better pack my stuff and shower real good!
via Neatorama
Twinkle Tush: Jewelry For You Cat’s Butt
Twinkle Tush. It’s no longer just a crude name shouted at me by construction workers, accompanied by whistles and catcalls. It’s my own fault for sewing bicycle reflectors into the butts of cut-off jeans. Hey, I like to walk at night. Safety first, fashion last. Anyway, Twinkle Tush is also shiny cat jewelry. I’m talkin’ ice. Bling bling. For your cat’s puckered butt-ring.
True to it’s name, it makes your cat’s butt twinkle like a Solid Gold Dancer. Did I date myself with that sentence? In that case, Imma go cuddle myself and have a smoke now. Maybe stroke my hair and whisper, then fall asleep. Was it good for me? It was the best baby.
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Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder
Leave and never darken my towels again! “How dare you sir?! My butt is cleaner than a dog’s butt! Don’t believe me? Have a look at this Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder. You can’t get any cleaner than the orifice from whence the actual TP comes from, my good man. Never question my cleanliness again. Sorry about the towel. Some zout should get that stain right out.”
The Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder. Nothing says class like a dog butt flossing with some heinie paper. I feel like the tail should wiggle though, cuz you know that dog is happy as a Floss-ton Terrier. Or should I say a Boston Derriere?
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Stop me before I pun again!