The Brief Safe. It keeps your money and cards safe. Because it is a pair of briefs that look nasty. They even have a faux-skid mark. They have special compartments to keep your stuff safe. Even if you have them off and tossed in a corner, no one is gonna want to touch your nasty business.
You can leave it in plain view in the laundry basket and thieves will just gasp, cover their nose and mouth and move on. Be safe with the Brief safe. Now how am I gonna tell them apart from my normal underwear?