These Jason Voorhees And Freddy Krueger Briefs represent a clash of two horror titans. It’s the battle of the ages. Freddy fights for one buttcheek, Jason fights for the other. The winner unites both buttcheeks and sleeps comfy between them. Make sure they don’t slash up your buttcheeks while they go at each other. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need any scarring to go with my butt acne. I got enough to worry about back there.
Tag: underwear
Full Moon Panties
Full Moon Panties? Those aren’t full moon panties. Full moon panties are no panties at all. Just your ass painted by the light of the full moon. I would have called these the Wolf of Ball Street. What? They’re for women? Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure I can make that wolf tongue move and appear to lick itself. No takers?
Horror Movie Underwear
thegeekgarden wants to cover your butt in Horror and I’m not just talking about all that butt-acne you’ve been ignoring. Hey, me too. It’s like sitting on one of those bumpy sea-urchins. I’m talkin’ Horror Movie Underwear. Check out Freddy Krueger gettin’ ready to slash dat ass. The best one is that kid from The Shining though, riding his big wheel into dat ass crack. You go Danny! Ride like the wind.
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Ouija Board Panties
So you and the wife are wearing your Ouija Board Panties and getting ready to “summon some spirits” when your kid bursts through the door. Mommy, daddy, what are you doing? Well, you see son. When a man loves a woman very much, he eases his planchette across her board, until you hit just the right spot. That would be when your mother yells YES YES YES. Now get out of here and if you hear stuff banging around, it’s just some paranormal activity. Lock the door on your way out. Now where were we? Still in the mood babe? No? What do you mean GOODBYE? God Dammit!
Varnished Cotton Briefs: Mom’s E.R. Nightmare
When I first saw these Varnished Cotton Briefs, I thought someone had been going through my drawers. Hey, don’t judge. I had an accident at the chocolate factory. The factory was my butt. All of the employees are now laid off. I couldn’t afford all of them working overtime and getting triple pay on taco night. By them I mean the magic gremlins that live in my colon.
This decorative pair of underwear is the crustiest, the most vile, the dirtiest pair of nad covers I have ever seen. Them is some crusty crack coveralls. Seriously, it has real crust. And not the good stuffed crust kind. What is that stuff? This nasty specimen is based on that old gem that mom’s always throw at you before you leave the house. “You better put on clean underwear in case you get into an accident.” Good advice, cuz if you show up at the E.R. wearing these, the CDC is getting involved and whole towns will get shut down. I don’t blame them at all.
This sellers mom never bothered telling them to put on clean underwear. Apparently their mom just tells them to varnish it and put it on Etsy.