appendageaccessories sells all kinds of cool animal masks, which are perfect for your secret animal identities. I know I have a secret identity when I sleep. I wear the Pug dog mask. He goes by the name of Pugsy Malone and likes to chew on old shoes and pee in corners and play humpy time with stuffed animals. Until the wife hits me with rolled up newspaper. That’s how I know it’s time to actually sleep. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I get the rest of my life when I wear that mask.
Sometimes I’m the cat and I stay up all night meowing, with the occasional poop and pee in a box, only to wake up and find that my keys and wallet were in there.
