Tag: fashionably creepy

This Dinosaur Dress Is Dino-Mite

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dino dress
Nothing says fashion like two dinosaurs on either side of your bosom. There are 3 dinosaurs if you count the wearer of this dinosaur dress. Cuz girl, you are a Leg-O-saurus Rex. I bet she has a nice Jur-ass-ic park in back. If a girl ever gives me the time of day, I hope it’s her.

Let’s play Jurassic poker. I call. What do you have. Only a pair of twos. I have a full house. *Throws a sponge meteor at her.* Looks like your kind is extinct. Better lose that top!

Awesome! Now I can wear it.
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Dragon Eye Eye Patches

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Dragon Eye Eye Patches
Cue montage of me beating up meat in a freezer. Training hardcore rocky style while I wear my sweet Dragon eye patch. Jumping rope. Doing sit ups as my trainer teases me with a piece of bacon just out of reach. I’m feeling good! Feeling pumped! I can do this!

It’s the…eye of the dragon
It’s the thrill of the fight….

Mick, my trainer is all like, “Are you a dragon or a door mouse? Get out there and do it. Show ’em what a dragon can do. You got heart kid. Clobber ’em and breath fire. Don’t stop until the fire department comes to pick up his ashes. Eye of the dragon kid! Now go!” *Pushes me into the ring.*

Ding. Ding.

In this corner, me, hitting my gloves together and jumping up and down, ready for action. In the opposite corner… Yeah, it’s that spider that I saw, looking creepy as f**k.

*Runs away screaming.* Here, you have the eye of the dragon Mick. I don’t want it anymore. I’m just gonna get a fly swatter and hope for the best. Can you kill it? Please?????

What the Pug?: Crazy Animal Sleep Masks

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animal sleep masks
appendageaccessories sells all kinds of cool animal masks, which are perfect for your secret animal identities. I know I have a secret identity when I sleep. I wear the Pug dog mask. He goes by the name of Pugsy Malone and likes to chew on old shoes and pee in corners and play humpy time with stuffed animals. Until the wife hits me with rolled up newspaper. That’s how I know it’s time to actually sleep. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I get the rest of my life when I wear that mask.

Sometimes I’m the cat and I stay up all night meowing, with the occasional poop and pee in a box, only to wake up and find that my keys and wallet were in there.
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The Bra Pouch: Shake Your Money Maker

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bra purse
Etsy seller JamesKelleysShop offers some unique coin purses that are made out of women’s bras. These over the shoulder boulder holders will hold coins, make up, your ID, everything but baby milky snacks. James is clearly a bro that loves bras. As are we all. Looking for something a little bigger to hold your tablet? Tough titty.

Don’t be a boob, carry your most important accessories the same way women carry theirs.

Pro tip: Can be used as an awesome and effective slingshot when needed. Put a rock in it and hit some dude on the head so he grows a nipple on his scalp. No, don’t do that bra. I mean bro!

Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set

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dragon rings
Be the mother of dragons with this awesome Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set. Just like Daenerys Targaryen, you will have these little dragons wrapped around your finger. Literally. And unlike Daenerys, you won’t have to worry about dragon poop, which is fiery and nasty and smells like goats. That will leave you with a smoking stump and an appreciation of dragon digestion for sure.

You get 3 Dragon Rings with their 3 Dragon Eggs which act as a kickass jewelry box for them. The divided halves of the eggs are linked by a hinged base which holds the dragon by his tail. Trust me these rings will get you noticed more than Hodor saying his name over and over again during an AA meeting. The whole set is $185.
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