Coffin PopTart Ornament With Real Sprinkles
At least the Coffin PopTart ornament is honest. Those things will kill ya. I should know too, cuz I’ve had enough of them thrown at my head. I like to anger my wife at breakfast. Santa is a jolly old fella. Meaning he’s fat. So hang this on your tree and you are gonna get some good presents. It better not be polka dot socks like last year.

I’m getting this, cuz coffin Poptarts beats coughin’ poptarts. Hey, I eat real fast. These things are delicious.