Creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll – Holy Shiitake!

Creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll - Holy Shiitake!
Holy Shiitake Batman! That is one crazed killer and creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll. Look at him. He loves his mini murder spree and rusty-ass knife. The horror! Still, he looks like a fun-gi. Wanna hear a joke? I thought so. Where do they make prison food? In the Mush-Room. Get it? Anyway, why do toads need a stool? Take this guy home, he won’t take up mushroom at all. Probably more truffle than he’s worth though.

Keep your eye on this guy. He’s been trippin on his own juices.

Black Death Scented Candle – Smell The Plague

Black Death Scented Candle
Relive the horrors of the plague with this Black Death Scented Candle. I’m not really sure what that smells like, but it’s gotta be an improvement to my bathroom after I take a massive, so I’m sold. Wait a minute. It says that the fragrance is Autumn Leaves. That doesn’t sound like black death to me. I’ll just stick with the plague that I know in my bathroom. Clearly I need a plague doctor.

Skull and Bones Tea Infuser For Terrifying Tea Time

Skull and Bones Tea Infuser
Normally anything with a skull and bones is going to make the last tea that you ever drink, but in this case your tea should be safe to drink. The Skull and Bones Tea Infuser is a spooky skull shaped tea infuser that brews up a nice cup of tea and keeps things nice and creepy. When you’re done brewing, rest the skull on the handy crossbones to prevent messes. Waiter, there’s a skull in my tea!

Papa Chongo Voodoo Skull Wall Sculpture

Papa Chongo Voodoo Skull Wall Sculpture
Papa Chongo is a cool ass name. This Papa Chongo Voodoo Skull Wall Sculpture is a cool ass sculpture. Papa Chongo in da house. Your house. Maybe my house.

I met Papa Chongo while exploring in the Congo.
He had himself two skulls that he played like bongos.
The man also liked his Chimi-chongos.
Liked to watch himself some Cheech and Chongo.
While fiddling with his dong-o.

Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps May Save Your Life

Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps
Do I need Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps? Nah. I don’t need to repel vampires or werewolves with soap. I’m more like a werewolf who is repelled by soap itself. Whhhhhew! Things are getting rank around here. Anyway, these soaps are what you need to keep bloodsuckers and hairy beasts away. Each 3oz bar of anti-werewolf soap contains colloidal silver, holy water and rosemary. The vampire one has garlic and holy water in it. Just like garlic bread made fresh from the vatican!

via Geekologie