Etched Copper Garden Spider NecklaceYou know why I don’t garden? Well, aside from the fact that everything I touch dies, did you know there are spiders outside? True story. And everyone knows that when a spider touches you, you feel all icky and weird. I don’t need any of that jazz. I wish they were all as cool as this Etched Copper Garden Spider Necklace. It’s awesome cuz it doesn’t move and is already dead.

A spider as a fashion accessory? Yeah! On the bottom of my shoe! Hahahaha! Am I right? *Reaches blindly for high five. Feels a hairy tarantula hand slap me.* Is there a giant spider behind me? Yeah, I’m just gonna run and scream now. Like a human police car. Running and screaming. That’s me. *Radio static* All cars. We have a 519 in progress. *Radio static.* I’m on the case! *Peels out and runs like hell.* A 519 is a giant spider behind you. I’m out!

Etched Copper Garden Spider Necklace