I knew it. I knew that all gnomes are They Live Garden Gnomes. I didn’t even need any special glasses. Gnomes run the world, forcing us to consume, obey and put them in our gardens so they can spy on us. Little ceramic bastards. I’d put this guy in my yard though. Come on, you’re coming with me gnome-slice. Yeah, yeah, money is my God. Just get in the garden.
Tag: unique
This Really Bugs Me – Nasty Fly Earrings
Flies are all the rage this year. Everyone on the runway is wearing them. So these Fly Earrings are the perfect accessory. Fly. The maggot evolved. Nature’s gross butterfly. Flies are filthy and disgusting and totally belong on your ears. I can’t wait for some fly to land on your ear and try to mate with your earrings. That’s nasty.
X-Files Evidence Bag Lunch Tote – I Want To Believe
Investigating paranormal stuff every day is hard work. Better pack a lunch. Use this X-Files Evidence Bag Lunch Tote. It looks just like an evidence bag that Mulder or Scully would use to keep their evidence in. Oh looky here, what do I have for lunch today? Let me just open the bag. Is it a poop sample from a mutant moth man? A petri dish full of black slime? It’s always a crapshoot with this bag. Sometimes actual monster crap.
Alien Sleep Mask Is A No Sleep Mask For Your Partner
I can see two scenarios happening when you wear this Alien Sleep Mask. One- You wake up screaming thinking that you are being abducted, then get up and look in the mirror after pulling this mask up above your eyes, only to realize that YOU were the alien all along. That’s an M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist right there. Or two – Your wife wakes up next you, looks over at you and starts screaming. Meanwhile, the real aliens run out of the room like WTF.
Skull Butter Dish – I Can’t Believe It’s Not Horror
Set your butter on the table in style with this Skull Butter Dish. Well, I mean, it’s not “skull butter”. The butter isn’t made out of skulls. It’s in a cool skull dish. *Looks at skeleton” Hmmm nice body. Butter face… Hahahaha I crack myself up. But I never crack a butter dish. That’s like 7 years bad luck with toast right? I like toast, so I’m careful.