Fifty Shades of Chicken Cookbook

I’m gonna get this Fifty Shades of Chicken Cookbook and me and my chicken are going to have a quiet night in. I’ll set the table, pour some wine, candlelight for two…

Oh chicken you are so lovely. You give me sticky chicken fingers whenever I touch you. Gonna bind your wings with bacon, grab ya by the dripping thighs and truss you up. Gonna rub some butter all over your poultry skin, cuz I know you want that Lard-on. Spank you with some marinade…

I would do all of that stuff IF I had a chicken. But I don’t. Thanks for making me hungry. Stupid book!