Holy Jesus Reese’s Pieces
You know him, you love him. He goes by the name Jeebus, Jesus, Son of God, the almighty, the Nemesis from Nazareth and many more. He has turned water into wine, busted up gambling establishments, got sold out for 30 pieces of silver, died for your sins, then scanned his own image on his blankey when woke and moved a great big rock, saying tada I’m resurrected. Aren’t I fabulous? How much has changed while I slept? I see sandals are still in fashion. Judas, you scamp. I’m going to have a stern word for you. I am going to pinch you so hard!
Jesus Reese’s Pieces will convert even the most hardcore heathen and beat his taste-buds down into submission, coating the tongue with instant proverbs and cool phrases like:
“Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone”. And other stuff that was hip way back when men were men and sheep feared the shepherd’s third leg.
Jesus Pieces melt in your soul, not in your hand. They are the perfect Last Supper desert.