Holy Jeebus! This Fist Of Jesus Action Figure rocks. Jesus is back and this time it’s personal! He comes complete with his fishbone sword weapon and blood splattered robe. The chosen one is here to lay down the smack. He came to turn water into wine and to kick ass. And he’s all out of water! Those who cross the son of god will soon find out he is a son of a- Shut your mouth! Just talkin’ bout Jesus!
Soon to be a major motion picture! No doubt.
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Cheesus, please deliver unto me a cheese grater worthy of your name and bearing thine image and I will grate the hell out of cheese in your name. P.S. I really love cheese Cheesus. You rock.
I deliver unto you this cheese grater in mine own image my child. It’s grate! Even if I do look like the Mona Lisa. Enjoy my son! Enjoy! Wait…you’re the Creepbay guy. Let’s see. I have you down for chronic masturbation and with the IQ of a wet paper bag. Not my best work. I have read the blog. You have much to answer for my son. Did you just fart? Who does that in my presence? I give up. You all suck! Keep the grater. I’m out. *poof*
Heh. Love scoring free stuff from Cheesus. Too easy. *Looks in mirror and screams* My chin! I mean…my balls! Noooooooooooooo!
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You may think you’re a holy-roller, but if you don’t have this 10kt gold Jesus pendant, you ain’t nothing but a holy-roller skater, watching a Cadillac pass you by. The Cadillac being the dude wearing this blinged out face of Earth’s lord and savior.
Flash Gordon? James T. Kirk? Doctor Who? No you silly heathens. Earth’s other lord and savior. The original action hero. The almighty Jesus. Here he is all blingy-blingy, looking straight up pimp for $5,950.00 on Ebay. Because everyone knows that Jesus would prefer you to wear some gaudy shiny trinket, instead of, you know, taking that money and feeding the hungry or something. Man, that is some tacky looking Jesus jewelry.
You know him, you love him. He goes by the name Jeebus, Jesus, Son of God, the almighty, the Nemesis from Nazareth and many more. He has turned water into wine, busted up gambling establishments, got sold out for 30 pieces of silver, died for your sins, then scanned his own image on his blankey when woke and moved a great big rock, saying tada I’m resurrected. Aren’t I fabulous? How much has changed while I slept? I see sandals are still in fashion. Judas, you scamp. I’m going to have a stern word for you. I am going to pinch you so hard!
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I’m not sure if Jesus is a fan of Star Wars or not. I mean he did give us the awesomeness that is the original trilogy. Then again, he also gave us Jar Jar Binks. Well, whether he is a fan or not, you can dress your lord and savior in Star Wars gear with this Star Wars Jesus Dress-up Set.
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