This Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow lets you lay down on the couch and get your damn face hugged into oblivion. Naptime is now nightmare time. Alien eggs. For your couch. Or bed. Or wherever the hell you want to be scared to death. Bonus: If someone tries to grab your pillow, you can say, “Hey! Lego my alien EGGo!” That’s always fun. At least until they hatch. Then your fun wordplay aint shizz! You’re just alien Xenomorph food.

After it eats you, it’s gonna sit on your couch watching Oprah and warm up all of the other eggs until they hatch. Sad really.