You know, I don’t see what the big deal is about this Dead Spider Leg Ring. I mean, I already have a million of these things to choose from and they didn’t cost me anything. *Walks into the garage. Looks through the dust at the selection of dead spiders, legs all up in the air.* Which one of you will it be today? Ah! You. You have pretty red markings!

Guys, check out my sweet dead spider ring, complete with hourglass design. OW!!!! It’s alive. It’s alive. Not letting go! Hourglass means what? Well, I’m off to the hospital. *Looks at spider still attached to finger* You think you’re a widow? Not anymore. I’ll get the hospital in time my dear. This time I shall be the widow…er. *Throws it down. Stomps it good.*