Tag: ring

Jumping Spider Ring

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Jumping Spider Ring

Jumping spiders are adorable, but also nasty, because they are still spiders. All creepy, spinning webs out of their butt that you walk into. Hanging from their strings all creepy like above you in bed. Crawling up your arm while you are minding your own business, mowing the lawn. Ick! Despite my fear of these 8-legged beasts, this Jumping Spider Ring is pretty damn cute. Still makes me itch though.

When I first saw this Jumping Spider Ring, I thought they meant a gang of jumping spiders with like switch blades and stuff. Thank God! I can’t deal with spider gangs. I just like stuff like this Spider Hair Clip.

Gothic Poison Ring

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Gothic Poison Ring

Man, remember the old days when you could just wear a special ring, fill it with poison and off someone? Yeah, I don’t either. Before my time. People were cray cray back then. Actually, they still are. Anywho, this cool Gothic Poison Ring has a pearl skull. Pretty neat. Now I know not to take tea from someone wearing this. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice and I’m on the toilet for hours AGAIN after somebody loaded their ring with ex-lax and dumped it in my Earl Grey.

Still, this Gothic Poison Ring is all kinds of awesome. Hey it beats the Human Teeth Ring.

Mysterious Sterling Silver Owl Ring

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Sterling Silver Owl Ring
Whooooo is that? Who? Who? It is the coolest sterling silver owl ring. That’s who. It is classically creepy. Owls are creatures of the night, swooping and gliding through by dark trees as they hunt their unsuspecting prey for a late night snack. Embrace your inner bird of prey with this beautiful ring! My, what big eyes you have! Huge eyes are one of the owl’s best features. These striking orbs can spot a tiny morsel from way high up in the air. Then they swoop down and their prey is eliminated. Beauty and brutality. Ain’t nature wonderful? Channel your inner owl with this cool ring and be the envy of owl your friends. I mean all. All your friends. Those eyes. So intense. Reminds me of my ex wife when she wants money. She doesn’t even need to wear one of these creepy owl masks. She was born with resting bird-of-prey face.

Yeah nature is all about beauty and death. Kind of like this site. If it’s in nature and it is cute, chances are it can kill you or at the very least injure you horribly. That’s why I steer clear of nature. I just don’t give a hoot.

Human Teeth Ring

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Human Teeth Ring
Hmmmm. Do I really want my finger to be bitten for all time? I’ll have to think about that. This Human Teeth Ring is cool and all, but if I wanted that, I would just stick my finger in someone’s mouth. If I wear this, am I teething? Do I have to brush these when I brush my own? I have no idea. But I kinda still wanna wear it.

Goth Teeth Ring

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Goth Teeth Ring
Have you always wondered what the tooth fairy does with all those innocent children’s teeth that she collects while she looms in the shadows of the night? She makes goth rings naturally! And parents paid for the honor! This Goth Teeth Ring is strikingly lifelike and set on an adjustable ring band that fits from a 5 to 10 size. Some dentist will buy this ring to scare children into brushing their teeth. Also coming soon to a mental institution and prison near year!

This jewelry has teeth. Get yourself a bite! It looks like a tooth flower. I am enameled with it. I mean enamored.