At first i thought someone snuck into the gym and took a picture of me, but then I didn’t see any pizza and I knew it was cool. I just go for free pizza night and sit on the weight lifting bench eating it. But no, this is just a motivational paper weight. They did get all of my details just right though. The facial hair, chest hair, armpit hair. Even the outfit I wear.

The battery is all wrong though. I use a much taller battery. That way when I do lift, it encourages me to keep going. Lift, lower until the weight bar connects with the battery, get zapped and do it again.

Don’t Wish For It, Work For It! You hear that all you Genie lamp rubbers? Heh. Genie lamp rubbers. Sounds like a condom brand. Nobody steal that. I’m gonna patent it and sell it with the slogan, “Put it on. Rub and get 3 wishes.”
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