The Notebook Of Cthulhu
You know what I would do with The Notebook Of Cthulhu? I would read every entry and find out who his crush is, find out what he really thought about the last season of Gossip Girl, say “I know, right!” out loud a few times, and munch on some popcorn, saying “Oh no he dit-int!” when he talks smack about the Kardashian clan. Then I would gently close it and wait for the next volume to be written. And hope that he never ever knows I read his diary.
By the way, did you read about how he was all tentacle to tentacle with that Kraken? I know, right! And don’t tell him I said so, but he was like, super crushed when Veronica wouldn’t go out with him. Crazy!