Ugly Christmas Sweater Onsie
Awesome. I can finally get that Abominable Snowman Christmas Sweater Onesie I’ve always wanted. I mean aside from my birthday suit, which is a mass of furry grey hair. People were always mistaking me for the abominable snowman at that nudist colony I got kicked out of. It didn’t help that I would jump out of the bushes, growl, and steal food. Then the internet arrived and I no longer had to join clubs like that to see nudity. I love you internet. *Hugs my computer and gives it a little kiss.*

Yeah, this thing is white and furry and full of ornaments. Just like my grandma’s head after the Christmas tree fell on her in 2006. Good times. Hey, is that a heart on the crotch that says “Kiss me”? That’s classy as f**k! I see a cookie cutter on the left shoulder too. No, I mean their left. Your right! And when you’re right you’re right. I need to buy this.