How now brown cow. You look like you got run over with a plow. I don’t think this Cow Skin Rug is made from actual cow skin. There’s no way to know since the seller’s add says absolutely nothing.
I’m gonna go ahead and guess it was a leftover from some UFO cow mutilation, cuz I know sometimes they just toss the leftovers out of the ship, like that time I saw a UFO and a cow fur suit fell from the sky. I put that baby right on and ewwwwww! Just like thrift store clothes, I shoulda cleaned it first. It was like an icky squishie pair of footy pajamas with hooves.
What can you do but shake your fist at those alien bastids and walk home in utter shame?