Tag: rug

VHS Horror Movie Rug

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VHS Horror Movie Rug

This VHS Horror Movie Rug is sweet. All of my favorites are here. Friday the 13th. Scream. Child’s Play. Nightmare On Elm Street. This rug will bring back memories of all of your VHS favorites. Here’s an idea. Put on this blindfold. Now I’m going to spin you around and you walk on the rug. Whatever you land on, that’s what we are watching tonight. Oh man! You walked past the VHS Horror Movie rug and stepped in some cat puke. I guess you’re watching the cats tonight while I go to the movies.

This Horror Movie Word Search will keep you company. Laterz!

Gothic Black Spider Web Rug

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Gothic Black Spider Web Rug
I love this Gothic Black Spider Web Rug. But I already have one. You know how I got mine? Neglect and spiders. It’s easy when you never vacuum. Or sweep. Or mop. Hmmm. I just realized I’m living on about 2 inches of dirt. Some weeds are starting to grow. I’d love to be a kid and play a game of “the floor is hot lava” on this except rename it, “the floor is full of spiders”. Icky! I’m never leaving the couch again.

Utter-ly Ridiculous: Cow Skin Rug

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cow skin rug
How now brown cow. You look like you got run over with a plow. I don’t think this Cow Skin Rug is made from actual cow skin. There’s no way to know since the seller’s add says absolutely nothing.

I’m gonna go ahead and guess it was a leftover from some UFO cow mutilation, cuz I know sometimes they just toss the leftovers out of the ship, like that time I saw a UFO and a cow fur suit fell from the sky. I put that baby right on and ewwwwww! Just like thrift store clothes, I shoulda cleaned it first. It was like an icky squishie pair of footy pajamas with hooves.

What can you do but shake your fist at those alien bastids and walk home in utter shame?

Home Decor From Hell: Demon Skin Rug

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Demon Skin Rug
This Demon Skin Rug really ties the room together. And insures that no one ever enters that room again. Sure, it’s dead, but dead bees can still sting ya. I ain’t takin’ any chances. Look at the tongue on this thing. And the teeth.

Check out the images below to see this thing all laid out on a covered hot tub. That’s exactly where I would put it too if I wanted people to stay out. It’s as good as a sign that says, “this hot tub is protected by Satan and his minions.”

It’s expensive, but the seller says that it can be purchased on “LAY” away. They made a funny. Which I would find hilarious if I weren’t so scared.
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Sit Your Full Moon On This Werewolf Rug

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werewolf rugAaahoo! Werewolves of London! Don’t wait for a full moon to get a Werewolf rug like this one. I don’t know about you, but I am in no shape to be chasing a Werewolf down anyway. Plus, I’m fresh out of silver bullets. Why do you need a gun to fire a silver bullet at a Werewolf anyway?

Werewolves are all about the hunger. So all you have to do is dangle a chicken carcass in the woods and wait. I would put the silver bullet into the carcass or maybe inside of a bologna sandwich. Werewolves love them some sandwiches. Most hairy beasts do. Myself included. Once he tears into that food, he’s gonna bite the bullet and now you got yourself a new rug.

But does it change into a human rug and then back again during a full moon? Because you don’t want company over with a dead human laid out on the floor. Murder charges can’t be far behind.
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