super wide pants
You’ll need a couple of marines doing that funeral flag folding thing to put these Super Wide Pants in your drawers. Reasons to buy these:

You have a wide load and need wide pants.
You are part of a midget smuggling ring and this will allow you to smuggle a midget on each leg.
Cankles!
Because you don’t trip and fall on your face nearly often enough.
You like to take up the whole aisle at the supermarket.
One washer, one garment. That’s just how you roll.