Is it the Day of The Dead already? That would explain that rotting zombie at the ATM machine that I had to decapitate with a shovel. It would also explain why my trip to Target was like black friday on acid. Well, time to get my survival gear ready and head out to the mountains, where I will spend my days keeping an eye out for zombies and my nights, reading by this cool Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp.

Until one night when I fall asleep early and find a zombie gnawing on my arm. Bad zombie! Bad! *hits it in the nose with newspaper. Then when I see it won’t be trained as a pet, blows it’s head off.*