Damn girl. You got a fine ba-doom-kadonk. Looking all rave yard in your graveyard. I’m just sayin’ I’d like to hold a rave in that grave. Wait this isn’t a guy right? Man, I hope not. That can NEVER happen again. Now shhhh!

These Levi’s Of Doom And Gloom ain’t got no room cuz they full of booty and pulling double duty. Keeping things tight with fright. They’ll fit you just right in your skull hole. Skinny or tight, how they fit don’t matter. After you buy ’em you know you gettin’ fatter.

And THAT is how you write an ad to sell your cool ass end of the world jeans. Because I noticed you didn’t. You’re welcome.
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