This $300 Zombie Slave Side Table will teach those Zombies what happens when they mess with you. Try to eat my brain and you’ll be on your knees serving me my dinner, with a chain around your neck. I have another brain-eater in the bathroom, holding my toilet paper roll on his index fingers.

Now I’m gonna put my food down on the glass surface. DO NOT eat it. No! No! Bad Zombie! Get your tongue out of my pudding. Do you not know what getting smacked in the nose by a rolled up newspaper means?