This Ouija Board Table is perfect for any evening when you want to have dinner and a seance. In any order you prefer. Make sure you drink some spirits with your meal. Just don’t drink real spirits. That’s called possession. Which is nine-tenths of the law, but also a horrifying ordeal. So don’t do it. Also make sure you hover the planchette over GOODBYE after every meal, when you get up. It’s just good manners.
Tag: table
Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props
I’ve never been to your fancy Disneyland or Disney World. Probably because your parents were cooler than mine. So I have no idea what all the fuss is over the Haunted Mansion, but judging by these Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props, the ghosts are eating better than I am.
I’m gonna set the table and wait for the ghosts. Then when they come, me and Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and the rest of the Ghostbusters are gonna let them have it. I’ll probably get slimed. I typed “slimmed” at first, but that ain’t happening. If ghosts caused weight loss, Elvira would be the Jenny Craig spokesperson holding meetings at haunted houses.
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Vino De Nosferatu Decanter and Glasses
This Vino De Nosferatu Decanter and Glasses set will let you have a drink with Dracula. Have a nip with Nosferatu. You get free matching table accessories too. Raise a toast. You’ll be Vlad you did. Eck! Your blood tastes terrible. Why do you have to be so negative?
This set looks pretty cool. Way to luxurious and rich for my blood. Which tastes terrible by the way. So don’t invite me over. My blood is a terrible vintage.
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Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles
Bring the terror of the deep to your desk or coffee table with these cool Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles. It came from the deep and now you are in the deep. Caca that is. This 6 piece sculpture consists of 3 different sized tentacles and accompanying wave breaks. They look downright terrifying.
I’ll put them on my table, but if it reaches for my potato chips, I’m laying the smack down. It better not get all touchy feely on me when I’m watching TV. Just cuz you’re made of felt doesn’t mean I’m gonna get felt up. Behave.
Bones The English Butler
Bones The English Butler apparently doesn’t know how to wear pants that fit. Or shoes. But he’s a good servant. He puts up with a lot.
“Bones, come here. I need you!”
“How may I be of help sir?”
“You can start by wearing a proper shirt that will cover your ribs. There’s a good man. And for good sake’s chap, must your free hand always be in the position of catching a high five from behind, while it is down low because I’m too slow? Straighten up and get me a brandy so I can stand the sight of you. And get that murder out of your eye sockets.”
“Death sir…”
“What was that?”
“Yes sir!”
“Quite. Quite.”