This Wolf Coat simulates what happened to me last week. There was a full moon and I transformed and started howling like crazy until they locked me up in a cage and waited for me to transform back to my pasty naked self in the morning. The next day the sheriff was all like, “The moon wasn’t even full last night.”

I was all like, “Sheriff, you gotta do something about those kids mooning people. Between that and my wife bending over, I never get any damn peace! Did you bring my clothes and 3 rotisserie chickens like I asked?”