santaur ornamentHey look! It’s Santa in centaur form, sporting a big old booty and a buff chest. The head, arms, and torso are all Santa, but the body and legs are all horse. This basically give him more horsepower so he can deliver presents faster. You know. Like those socks and sweaters that he knows I hate, yet still gets me every year.

He’s magical. He’s mythical. He’s merry. He’s also, apparently, a friggin’ Pokemon. I can’t wait to see what he evolves into next year. He’ll probably have dragon wings and a snake body and turn all evil once the stress of Christmas Eve gets to be too much. Naturally, he will set fire to whole towns. Eventually another mythical creature will have to intervene. Jesus! Who else ya gonna call? FIGHT!

But wait. Here comes Krampus! The carnage! Streets on fire! Reindeers impaled on church steeples!We are all screwed!

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