Like OMG these Scary Zodiac Pillow Covers are so on fleek. Mercury is def in retrograde guys cuz they didn’t even get my name right at Starbucks. Plus Jupiter is ascending in the fourth house and like, OMG where’d you get those boots. Those boots go with that blouse like Aries and Aquarius. I’m so gel. I’m totally buying those so we can be twinsies! We are so gemini. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh look, something shiny and funny sound from phone! AKA “sleepytime while my thumbs move”.
Tag: astrology
Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace
All of the women in my life are Scorpios. How do I know? Because they always sting my heart and pinch it with their claw hands. Well, it was understandable in that one case. She had a deformity. All Scorpios should wear this Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace so I can see them coming. That is one bad ass train of scorpions, all lead by the Scorpion queen herself, following the trail of tears that is the path to my heart. Great, now I’m depressed. I guess I have to pay more attention to the zodiac signs. See who I’m compatible with. Not that that ever works out.
Hey baby, what sign are you?
I’m a Sagittarius. What’s your sign? Baby on Board? *Points to my fat belly*
*Sigh.* Heh. Good one. I thought you were a cancer. You know, because of that mole. You should get that checked out. *Walks away*
Guess that showed her.