This Sting Of The Scorpion Skull Mirror looks pretty cool. I’ll just freshen myself up here and comb my hair, while I scare myself senseless cuz A. That mirror is creepy and I see myself within the skull and B. That scorpion now appears to be crawling on my mirror-face. In other words, I love it. By the way, did you hear the one about the scorpion who became a director? His name is David Pincher. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Tag: scorpion
Get It Away – This Bug Will Haunt Your Nightmares
So this Arizona man was eating his breakfast when he spotted the mother of all nightmare insects at his window. It is called a camel spider, although I call it “HELL NO! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! It is a mix between a scorpion and a spider, which is a fun fact. Scorpions and spiders need to stop f**king each other yo! Great, now I’m not gonna sleep tonight. Thanks spiders.
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Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring
Excuse me Miss, you have something crawling on your ear. Uh… Too late. It’s in your ear now, swimming in your ear wax and pinching up your ear drum. *Cups hands together and yells* I said, there’s a scorpion in your ear. Why ya looking at me all dumb? Oh. Damn. It got to your brain now. Well, good luck with that. *Thud* Wow. Never saw a body collapse so fast. I’m out of here.
This Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring looks badass and it will rock you like a hurricane. No joke! Well, that was a joke, but scorpions in your ear is no joke at all.
Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace
All of the women in my life are Scorpios. How do I know? Because they always sting my heart and pinch it with their claw hands. Well, it was understandable in that one case. She had a deformity. All Scorpios should wear this Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace so I can see them coming. That is one bad ass train of scorpions, all lead by the Scorpion queen herself, following the trail of tears that is the path to my heart. Great, now I’m depressed. I guess I have to pay more attention to the zodiac signs. See who I’m compatible with. Not that that ever works out.
Hey baby, what sign are you?
I’m a Sagittarius. What’s your sign? Baby on Board? *Points to my fat belly*
*Sigh.* Heh. Good one. I thought you were a cancer. You know, because of that mole. You should get that checked out. *Walks away*
Guess that showed her.
Scorpion High Heel Shoe
This creepy-ass scorpion shoe would be perfect for a one-legged witch who lives in the desert. It has wheels in back to urge you forward faster and when it goes too fast that stinger slams down and is all like “Slow down biatch, cause I just poisoned your sorry skank ass. By the way, your feet is stinky as an old cheese slice in a welfare fridge.” Because that’s how Scorpions talk.
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