Tag: breakfast

Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

They say that too much butter will kill ya. I say that toast just tastes like crisp bread unless you slather it with butter. This Gothic Coffin Butter Dish is a reminder that our time on this plain is limited. And a cool place to store that ooey gooey buttery goodness. It’s really the only choice for anyone who loves Gothic decor and loves them some butter.

I feel like you should shape your butter into a little corpse though and put him to rest in this Gothic Coffin Butter Dish. But I’m a perfectionist. I would call him Butters and mourn him over breakfast daily. This Skull Butter Dish is also a great choice.

EGG-A-MATIC Skull Egg Mold

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

skull egg mold
The EGG-A-MATIC Skull Egg Mold will automatically turn eggs into skulls. Unlike the nations school system, which turns young skulls into egg-batter. But enough of that. Politics makes strange bedfellows. No really, the kind of bedfellow that gets all weird and kinky and makes you do unspeakable stuff in the middle of the night.

The point is, now you can turn your eggs into a skull and have a scary/spooky breakfast. Bite the head and suck out it’s yellow brains. Just like the school system did to you. That will teach ’em. Yay! Now everybody’s stupid.
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40 Pounds Of Lucky Charms Marshmallows

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

lucky charms marshmallows
Running around in my underwear like a fat leprechaun all hopped up on pixie dust screaming, “40 Pounds Of Lucky Charms Marshmallows!” over and over again.

*A magic fairy godmother appears* Do you want 40 Pounds Of Lucky Charms Marshmallows? *Stops. Shakes head. Giggles like an idiot. She waves her magic wand.*

***************

A family of 10 sits down to eat their 40 Pounds Of Lucky Charms Marshmallows out of a giant kiddy pool on their table. *A shriek in the distance, followed by a sonic boom.* WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOO! *I fall through the ceiling and land in the giant bowl of Luck Charms.* Thanks magic fairy lady!

*Ignores the screams and shrieks as I pig out face first, sucking it all up and making warrior noises.*