Tag: kitchen

The Shining Pizza Cutter – Here’s Johnny!

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The Shining Pizza Cutter - Here's Johnny!

It would have been a whole different movie if Jack Torrance had this The Shining Pizza Cutter. For one thing he never would have busted the door down with this thing, but if he did manage to get in, he would have sliced up your pizza to perfection. See, he’s not such a bad guy. Here’s Johnny. And here’s your once beautiful pizza pie, all sliced and diced and in a million pieces.

The Shining Pizza Cutter. It even has the famous quote on the handle. On the other side is the movie logo. All work and no pizza makes Jack a dull boy. Hey, when you don’t have pizza, you get hungry. Hungry leads to hangry and hangry leads to you going a little off the rails. It happens. I wouldn’t try to slice this Nightmare on Elm Street Animated Soul Pizza though.

Frankenstein Cookie Jar

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Frankenstein Cookie Jar
This Frankenstein Cookie Jar looks hungry. Hungry for cookies. And so do I? It makes me wish I had some chewy chocolate chip, peanut butter, Girl Scout cookies, or… Anything. Me need a cookie. This cookie vessel has created a monster. Me. Come to think of it, Doctor Frankenstein created this monster, then this monster created me. What monster will I create? Damn. That’s some deep philosophical stuff. I just want some damn sugar. In my mouth!

At least Frank has his bride to bake him some treats. I wish I had somebody to share these Frankenstein and Bride Sterling Rings. I’ll just have to get store-bought cookies. And put them in this Frankenstein Cookie Jar. I’m green with envy, Franky! Franky likes my jokes. I leave him in stitches. Just look at all of those stitches. The dude thinks I’m hilarious.

Halloween Bat Wine Opener

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Halloween Bat Wine Opener
Halloween is the battiest bat-tastic time of year. That’s why I always use this Goth gift wrap that is covered in bats. It is frighteningly festive. And this Halloween Bat Wine Opener is the perfect way to open that bottle of blood-red wine after you’ve watched your horror movies and handed out treats to all of the little demons on Halloween night. Just grab your bat-friend, spread those wings, and open up your wine. That sweet tipsy feeling is on the way. The best bats always help you get drunk, and this little guy is no different. It’s like he is flying while he is opening your wine. Wings up, wings down, I’m gonna get drunk and hit the town. Come with me Batty Boy Halloween Bat Wine Opener.

I’m more of a whine guy myself, rather than a wine guy.

Poison Herbs Hand Towels

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Poison Herbs Hand Towels

Whether you’re talking Bloodroot, Nightshade, Hemlock, Poison Ivy or Wolfsbane, poison herbs will mess you up. That’s why you can’t just go eating everything you see in the woods. I learned that lesson the hard way on a cold autumn night that involved some found mushrooms and a 12 hour war with the gnome-folk. And let me tell ya, the gnome-folk ain’t nuttin to f**k with. The whole thing was Just Plain Weird. I woke up with no clothes and a pointy hat in a very unusual place.

Luckily, I never came across any Poisonous plants like those on these Poison Herbs Hand Towels. These are great decor for you wild women and witches, or those who just love nature. They will not only look great in your home, but they will help to remind you about what these herbs look like in the wild. I wish I had had these for mushrooms. I could have avoided a lot of trouble and preparation H on that fateful night. They come in both black and white to fit in with your living space perfectly. If you like deadly nature stuff, these are the towels for you. They come as a set or individually.

Gothic Storage Jars Put Bats In Your Belfry

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Gothic Storage Jars Put Bats In Your Belfry
These Gothic Storage Jars fill your kitchen with enough bats to drive you batty. Sugar, tea, and coffee storage jars never looked so good. I had no idea they made storage jars for this stuff. I can finally get rid of those mounds of sugar on my counter. I’ll have to sift out the ants first, but totally worth it. I can also get rid of that pile of flour in the cabinet. I usually get rid of it just by opening the cabinet, because it all falls out. These are going to look great in my kitchen. You can never have too many bats in the belfry after all. Go Goth or go home! Hey where ya going? You’re supposed to go goth and NOT go home when I say that. Oh you went goth AND are going home? Well, that’s rude. I was going to show you my cool batwing coffin necklace. Now you can forget it. And I’m not sharing these Gothic Storage Jars either. So there.