So yeah, Breast Milk Jewelry is a thing now. Whaaaaa Whaaaaa, hey I’m teething over here, hows about you break out one of those tasty milk dispensers and feed me already! Says the baby. But mom can’t. You know why? Because she used all of her milk up to make jewelry. Sad, but true. You’ll just have to stop your whining and drink GMO milk like the rest of us.
All kidding aside… Breast jewelry ever. Even if it is udder-ly ridiculous.
Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks. For when you absolutely need the taste of mother’s milk, but are like 40 years old. I’m just assuming. The seller says it’s for a “baby shower”, but I ain’t buying it. I didn’t just fall off the nerd truck yesterday. I was pushed off by my twin brother who wanted a womb all to himself. One day I’ll find him and get even. *Shakes fist.*
Anyway, like I was saying, I’m no idiot. “Baby shower.” Whatevs. It doesn’t rain babies. At least, not until I get to the party. Know what I mean gals? Bow chicka wow wow…
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