A candy necklace that is not a necklace at all, but a bra that women can wear on their boobies? Never got offered one of those on Halloween. I guess this edible boulder holder is all about the foreplay. Well, I may be old fashioned, but I don’t think that foreplay should give you cavities. So just take that off right now and let me nibble for about ten minutes, then we can get down to business.

Ten minutes later:

Damn that was good. Sorry babe, can’t do the deed. Too much sugar. Sleepy time now. Sugar coma. Great choice in lingerie. You should buy another one. Nighty night. *mumbles…snores…drools*

One minute later:

*Jolts awake* Why are you hitting me? OW that hurts. OW quit it! What the hell are you whipping me with?

I did buy another you son of a b***h and now we’re gonna use it. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Your new name is Candy Man. On your knees and sing the song! DO IT!

*crying/singing* Who can make the sun rise?…..
Read more “Edible Candy Bra Is Sadly Not Packing Reese’s Cups”