Gender Doubting Thomas Puppet

creepy hand puppetYes, it is too late to claw your eyes out and un-see this monstrosity. It is called Gender Doubting Thomas. The seller is right, this may just be the creepiest puppet on earth. Is it a man or a woman. Don’t know. Don’t care. I just need it to go away and get out of my head now. From the seller:

“Under this chubby, sweaty, and hairy exterior beats the heart of a little girl…
Details include a creepy comb-over with real hair, chest hair, the bloody hand prints of tiny hands.

He/she is hand cast in latex, hand painted and the multi-layered costume is hand cut, distressed and sewn. A fully functional hand puppet is ready to emotionally scar someone for life.”

It already has. It already has.
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Fang Bangers: A Shoe And Scary Death Puppet

fang bangerThis little gem is titled “Monster (Scary) Head – Sculpture”. It is neither a head, nor a sculpture. It barely even qualifies as a monster. It’s a rain boot with Grandpa Munster’s dentures polygripped to the underside. I call it a Fang Banger. Hey, where’d you get those Fang Bangers? Mine are like 2 years old and have all kinds of cavities.
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