Tag: expensive

Amazing Skeleton Cutlery

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Amazing Skeleton Cutlery
Check out this cool Skeleton Cutlery from Skelemental. This is just one of many super awesome and super expensive things that they sell. The place is so expensive, all I did was browse their site for like 10 minutes and my wallet was gone, but that’s probably just cuz I was browsing on my phone and didn’t notice the pick-pocket. The joke is on him, cuz one lifesavers wrapper and a never-used condom from 8th grade is not legal tender.

This cutlery is scary as hell and not just cuz it’ll cut ya. Cuz it looks like what demons keep in the kitchen, although to be fair, I have never actually seen the wife with these at dinner time.
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Donald Trump Weathervane

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Donald Trump Weathervane
Which way is the wind blowing? I don’t know, why don’t you see which way Trump’s toupee is blowing? This $15,000.00 Donald Trump Weathervane will be fun to watch spin around. North, south, east or west. You’re all fired! Now excuse me while I spin my fat face in another direction! Let’s make America fat in the face again!

This thing will make your head spin too.
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These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover

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These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump's Combover
Few things in this life are as powerful and hefty as Donald Trump’s combover. Whether you are a Trump supporter or detractor, you can now own a pair of shoes that are seemingly inspired by The Donald’s hair. Gucci’s new Princetown Goat-Hair Mules are just… WTF. I don’t even know what to say about them. They cost $1,800, but if you are the kind of person wearing these, your therapist will cost a lot more. How did I know you had a therapist? Well, if you like these shoes, you need one. That’s for sure. It looks like you stepped on a pair of tribbles.
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Giant Spider Clock

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Giant Spider Clock
This clock/watch looks like a giant freaky spider. No. Just no. If I had this $16,000 – $18,000 clock in my home it would always be the same time: Time to kill spiders, time to wig the hell out and hide in a corner and then time for this thing to die once I work up enough courage to stop whimpering and hit it with some junk mail like I have a limp wrist!

I don’t ever want to know the time again. *Leads the pest control guy into the room and points*

You sure you want me to spray insecticide all over that?

Just spray it. Stomp on it and take it with you! DO IT NOW!
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Hippopotamus Chair

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hippo chair
Finally someone carved a chair out of a Hippo and painted the whole thing black. Hippo-campus? That ain’t no brain part. That’s a typical American college. Ha ha. I slay me. Because most Americans are obese. Hey, I’m American, so I can say that. You can’t France! Back off! Anywho, this Hippopotamus Chair will make your living room look like a wildlife sanctuary.

Whereas having a real hippo in your home to sit on makes it more of a stank-tuary. They can’t be housebroken. believe me, I’ve tried. It always ends in a steaming pile oozing down the sides of the coffee table. This fake hippo is much better and it’s only like 100 grand. Hit the link above to see the whole collection of freaky chairs.