Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!

Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!
Oh Hello Kitty OMFG! This horrific kitty of nightmares is everyone’s favorite kitty, but all funked up! She’s cute, she’s cuddly, she’s… Carnivorous?She’s my murderer! Oh, holy crap! Hello Kitty has a new addition to her adorable face. Pink perky bow, adorable pointy ears, sweet little whiskers….What’s this? Those are monster tentacles! And an open mouth of death with crooked human teeth! Plus, strings of sticky, slimy drool! This horrific kitty beast needs some dental work, pronto. And, maybe a bib while we are at it. Is that drool? Damn girl, get a napkin at least. Control yourself, Hello Kitty! How do you feel about tentacles? She says that they are all the better to squeeze you with. Hello Kitty’s got three! Don’t get too close! I hear she does body cavity searches at with those things. Probably works at an airport.

At least I don’t see any claws on Hello Kitty like these rhinestone claw nail rings. That mouth is dangerous enough and I bet her whiskers are razor sharp. One thing is for sure, I will never look at this character the same way again. I also really hope that she doesn’t look at me. Ever. Just please don’t even notice me.

Dentures Brooch – Haute Cou-Tooth

Dentures Brooch - Haute Cou-Tooth
3…tooth…1… Looking for a fancy new Dentures Brooch? Here you go. It goes with anything. Wear it with a blazer, a sweater, wear it on your pants and if anyone asks you have an elder girlfriend who left them behind. Or that a hooker left them behind. AKA an in-dentured servant. I have no idea and that’s the tooth. I just work here and I spend most of the day napping. This dentures brooch is a dangly, toothy, do not brooch this subject brooch. It pairs well with the human teeth ring. Which sounds like some elderly gang who goes around stealing teeth, but it’s not.

Real Human Tooth In Wooden Coffin Pendant

Real Human Tooth In Wooden Coffin Pendant
If you don’t see the dentist you’ll be mourning your teeth in this way pretty often. I ain’t paying for that dude’s boat. This Real Human Tooth In Wooden Coffin Pendant is a great way to honor your fallen chompers. And that’s the tooth! The whole tooth! And nothing but the tooth! And a coffin of course.

Macabre Tooth Bracelet

Macabre Tooth Bracelet
So…. Yeah. I’m guessing this Macabre Tooth Bracelet was created by a dentist with a busy pair of pliers. Either that or the tooth fairy is making jewelry now. Bicuspid, I’m wearing this! Then I’m gonna punch a bunch of people and leave tooth prints in their faces, just because it’s fun. Is that weird? Maybe, but it’s the tooth and nothin’ but the tooth. Heh. See what I did there?

Snail Shell With Molars

Snail Shell With Molars
Holy molars! I just hope this Snail Shell With Molars leaves a toothpaste snail trail, otherwise, he’s gonna have some cavities. I name him CREST-Cargot! This dude is a little gummier than I expected. They look healthy though. Way to go SLUGger. The real question is when he leaves his shell, does he take his teeth or leave them? Snails… Nature’s slimy dentures.