Tag: I’d eat that

M & M’s All Dressed Up Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

M & M's All Dressed Up Sculpture
These m&m’s are going out on the town. They’re all dressed up with no where to go. Therefore they belong in my mouth. But sadly they would break my teeth since they are a bronze sculpture. A limited edition of 75.

They melt in your mouth, not in their suits! Limited edition? Puh-leaze! I’ve dressed up plenty of m&m’s in my day. *Points to m&m civil war diorama, where North and South(Peanut m&m’s) wage a chocolaty battle for the nation.* Shhhhh. Keep your voice down. They startle easy. They’re all shell shocked. War is hell man.

Edible Eyes

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

eyeball food stickers
I won’t eat anything with eyes on it. Wait! What? You put some edible eyes on some doughnuts? Then it shall see it’s death as my wanting mouth descends upon it’s soft and jelly-filled body. It will also see the terror that is the slide down my throat and the hard landing in my stomach, where it will be compacted by the crunchy orange bones of half-digested Cheetos soaking in a river of Mountain Dew. There it will slowly dissolve until only the eyes remain to greet my next victim.

Edible eyes. I’d eat that. Say, my poops not gonna look like a brown trout now, is it? Between the corn and now the eyes, I’ll almost have a not-so Frosty the steamy brown snowman. Just needs a corn-cob pipe. I’ll be the jolly happy soul though. Feels good to unload, even if it does look back from the bowl.
Read more “Edible Eyes”