Tag: sculpture

Bizarre Fingercrab Sculpture

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Bizarre Fingercrab Sculpture
Check out this Bizarre Fingercrab Sculpture. It’s not only giving you the finger but all five of ’em. Except they’re all scaly and gross. What do you expect from fingers that live in a shell. Is this a Hermit Crab? More like a Dermit Crab, cuz it looks like it has a serious case of dermatitis. It’s well-manicured, I’ll give it that. Then I’ll give it a high five and that shell will snatch my hand, and replace it with this scaly nightmare. That’s how it lives forever see.

It could be much worse though. It could be a weird Hermit crab with a peen or five hanging out the shell. *shudders* Hell no. If I saw that, I’d have to smash it with a ball-peen hammer. Cuz that’s the only way to smash a Hermit-Peen horror. Five peen Freddy will become 4 peen Franky real quick. I wonder who does these Fingercrab Sculpture  nails and if I can get their number. If you got a finger fetish, and you probably do if you are lingering here, also check out the very strange and odd Fingerboy Horror Sculpture. I gave them both the finger, cuz I don’t give a f**k!

Fingerboy Horror Sculpture

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Fingerboy Horror Sculpture
Check out the Fingerboy Horror Sculpture. I give it the finger. Which is actually a ringing endorsement. I think the price is too high though. I would go for the 5 finger discount. He looks like somebody punched a baby all cartoon-like. You kids today and your violent art. Is that snot? Well, that’s the least of his problems. He’s got more than enough fingers to pick his boogers anyway. He’s got enough fingers to pick a booger with each and load em up and flick ’em machine-gun style.

I want him on my side in the next great war.

Gut Instinct Sculpture – Should Have Used Hot Dogs

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Gut Instinct Sculpture - Should Have Used Hot Dogs
A piece of weird art like this Gut Instinct Sculpture takes guts man. Real intestinal fortitude. But I mean, it looks like hot dogs. So they should have just used hot dogs. Come to think of it, this thing looks like it’s the patron saint of hot dogs. Our lady of the perpetual weiner. Just needs a hot dog halo and some holy light. By the by, our lady of the perpetual weiner is how I refer to the head prostitute at that place down the road. But I digress.

Holy hot dogs Batman! I guess the artist went with her gut instinct here for real. So yeah, behold the Gut Instinct Sculpture.

Snailien Alien Xenomorph Sculpture

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Snailien Alien Xenomorph Sculpture
In the garden, no one can hear you scream. Just ask this Snailien Alien Xenomorph Sculpture. I wouldn’t want to come across this guy while planting some flowers. I wouldn’t even want to come across this little beast anywhere. I bet a shovel can’t even kill it. He’ll eat your face off and kill your whole gardening crew. What, you don’t have a gardening crew? You ain’t shi* bra! Me and my crew grow vegetables like you wouldn’t believe. We spraying Miracle Grow like spraying bullets with a glock. Come at us man! What u got? Sorry. I’m all tense cuz the gardening turf wars are heating up. Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Sculpture is slimy and terrifying.

I need to lie down after seeing this bit of nightmare fuel. I feel faint. Good thing I have my Alien Xenomorphs Egg Cushion Pillow. What’s the worst that could happen. That I lay my head on it and something sucks my face off? Hmmm. I didn’t think of that. I guess that nowhere is safe from the alien menace. This ndude has some serious attitude. Just look at him. He knows he is the deadliest thing in the garden and he’s smiling.

Snail Shell With Molars

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Snail Shell With Molars
Holy molars! I just hope this Snail Shell With Molars leaves a toothpaste snail trail, otherwise, he’s gonna have some cavities. I name him CREST-Cargot! This dude is a little gummier than I expected. They look healthy though. Way to go SLUGger. The real question is when he leaves his shell, does he take his teeth or leave them? Snails… Nature’s slimy dentures.