This Zombie Autopsy Key Chain is made from a doll head. Probably Barbie herself. It will help you to never lose your keys again. Cuz how can you lose your keys when they are attached to a zombie with his brain showing? You know what I just noticed? They have one of those fancy flame printed keys. Sweet! Dude probably has a hot rod with a matching paint job.
That’s okay cuz my key matches my car too. They’re both sh**ty and rusty. But I ain’t bitter.
What seems to be the problem here officer?
You were doing 70 mph in a 10 mph school zone.
*Presents I’m Speeding Because I Have To Poop Key Ring*
You a funny guy?
Sometimes, but right now I’m prairie doggin’ it like crazy.
Can I see your license and registration- What in the name of god is that smell? Is there a dead corpse in the trunk?
*Reaches in back pocket for my now butt-mud covered wallet. Offers it to the officer with butt-mud covered fingers*
*Cop gags and retches. Covers his mouth with a cloth.* I’ve seen a lot in my career, but you sir are a disgusting human being! Get the hell out of here and get yourself checked for something dead inside you!
*On the road again. Looks at key chain* Well, that didn’t help!