Okay, so you have a mighty fine looking set of butt-cheeks. You could bounce a quarter off those cheeks and get a dime back. So you just gotta get a pic of that sweet cheek-meat and share it on social media. That’s where the Belfie stick comes in handy. It’s a stick that holds your smartphone, so you can get a picture of your badonkadonk and break the Internets. Belfie=Butt Selfie. Enough of this self-ass-ness.

I’m looking forward to the upgrade that adds like 3 feet to the stick, so you can take pictures of those extra wide Walmart shopper type butts. Actually, no. Not looking forward to that. At all. It’s gonna make Facebook walls look like the meat section of your local grocery store. If your grocery store packaged meat in short shorts and tank tops, and it just overflowed out of every side.