Flying Burger People Eater Heels

Flying Burger People Eater HeelDear god! The food is attacking back! Attaching itself to clothing and accessories and taking control of women. Making women involuntarily kick guys in the nads as revenge for our fast food gluttony. Well, let’s face it, a woman doesn’t need much encouragement to kick us in the nads. We earn it. I earn it with interest.

Hey, nice burger heels! Can I touch your buns? *kick* *sees stars and little birdies flying around head* Can I get fries with that?*passes out*

These Flying Burger People Eaters look ferocious, but on the other hand they do come with fries in the soles. Yummy. Only $64.99. I hope they have arch support. As in Golden arches.
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Scorpion High Heel Shoe

Scorpion High Heel ShoeThis creepy-ass scorpion shoe would be perfect for a one-legged witch who lives in the desert. It has wheels in back to urge you forward faster and when it goes too fast that stinger slams down and is all like “Slow down biatch, cause I just poisoned your sorry skank ass. By the way, your feet is stinky as an old cheese slice in a welfare fridge.” Because that’s how Scorpions talk.
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