Dear god! The food is attacking back! Attaching itself to clothing and accessories and taking control of women. Making women involuntarily kick guys in the nads as revenge for our fast food gluttony. Well, let’s face it, a woman doesn’t need much encouragement to kick us in the nads. We earn it. I earn it with interest.

Hey, nice burger heels! Can I touch your buns? *kick* *sees stars and little birdies flying around head* Can I get fries with that?*passes out*

These Flying Burger People Eaters look ferocious, but on the other hand they do come with fries in the soles. Yummy. Only $64.99. I hope they have arch support. As in Golden arches.
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