Tag: this is why you’re fat

McDonald’s Is Selling Secret Big Mac Sauce On Ebay

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

big mac special sauce
So McDonald’s secret sauce is currently up for auction on eBay. I guess the obesity epidemic, as it is, isn’t obese enough for them. McDonald’s patrons only get exercise walking from the car to the counter before they get stuck in those booths and then kids start throwing nuggets at them for all eternity. Now they are bringing the secret whale sauce to the internets so you can order from your hospital bed.

It’s actually for charity. Not that this will stop Ronald’s soul from rotting in hell with Grimace and the rest of the gang, but it’s a start. Bidding is up to $23,100.00 AU for this bottle of diarrhea dressing.
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This Is Why You’re Fat: Car French Fry Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

french fry holder
Why stop eating french fries just because you are driving? Texting and driving? That’s just crazy. But eating fries and driving is no problem apparently. Guys, if I get into a car accident and I see fries flying everywhere, I’m gonna know why you crashed into me. Because you have a Car French fry holder and were stuffing your face. And I’m gonna use it as evidence in court to make the judge send your french fry loving and driving butt to Jenny Craig.

And as we are comparing insurance info, don’t try to claim that the fries that flew into my car are yours. They’re not. And you don’t need ’em tubby!

Fried Chicken Drumstick Keyboard: Finger Clickin’ Good

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

fried chicken keyboard
No wonder America leads humanity in muffin tops and back-boobs. Still, this keyboard with a drumstick on it is finger lickin’ and finger clickin’ good. You would be hard pressed to find any other kinds of keyboards in the head offices of KFC.

It’s a chicken strip. That you can type on. And you won’t even notice your greasy fingerprints and all of the chicken skin you dropped between the keys. Needs a miniature bucket of chicken mouse to accompany it though. Or just a greasy breast that leaves a trail of slime.
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