Man, I gotta start dating. Problem is when I signed up for match.com, my membership screen said “We have found a match for you: MY ASS YOUR FACE”. Nice. Thanks for nothing. I have feelings too you know. Except in my buttcheeks. They’re all tingly and numb from sitting here all day bringing you awesome and weird stuff. Go me.

This Willy Care Kit might help me to up my dating game. You gotta keep tidy and neat after all and us guys are dating for two. *Looks down* You and I both have to shape up. Then once we get a woman we can let ourselves go again. Deal?

This kit comes with a fluffing brush, styling sheers, a sprucing mirror and even some evening wear for the little guy in the form of a little necklace.