Tag: grooming

Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb

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Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb Whoa. Your hair is going to look cool thanks to this Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb. Take it out of your pocket, flick it open like a switchblade and comb those locks. You’ll be looking as good as that bearded, well haired skeleton on it’s side.

Comb your hair, comb your beard, hell comb your pubes and make Mr. Winky look all dapper. I don’t judge. This is one stylish comb that will come in handy. I’m gonna comb my beard all day. For snacks. Cuz that’s where I store them. I’m lying, I don’t have a beard. My five o’clock shadow is more like 4 o’clock and still waiting. I just don’t seem to have the necessary man-genes to grow a fuzzy face.

Licki Brush Lets You Lick Your Cat Back

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licki brush
The Licki Brush. What’s weird about this? Doesn’t everybody put a fake tongue in their mouth to lick their cat? I know if I don’t lick my cat at least once a day, she gets ticked off. What? Oh, okay. Let’s just get all of the p**** licking jokes out of the way. Are you done yet? *Sigh* So immature.

Anyway, you have to use this device to lick your cat, cuz otherwise you get hairballs. And a human hacking up hairballs is a nasty sight. Trust me on that one my friends. Not that I’ve ever used a similar device. I just heard things. What are you trying to imply? Look, I ain’t no dirty cat licker! Thems fightin’ words. Put up your dukes. I’m gonna- *ACK….ACK…COUGH* Now that that’s out of my system, and all over your floor, come at me bro!

Video that you can never unsee below.
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Monster Shaving Kit

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monster shaving kit
It’s been like two weeks since I shaved, so I probably need a Monster Shaving Kit. Something that’s going to eye me up while I lather up the shaving cream in it’s head. Are you giving me the stink-eye monster? Cuz your eyeing me up and it reeks in here. Oh, sorry. That was me. I farted.

You are one scary piece of pottery my friend. I say that because of the glazed look you’re throwing in my direction. You’re making me nervous. Ow! Now you made me cut myself. I’ll just catch the droplets with your head. Uh-oh. Should you be bubbling all evil-like when blood collects in you? Like you are about to come to life? This is not good at all.

Skull Shaving Brush

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skull shaving brush
Use a skull to shave your skull. You hairy-skulled beast! The Skull Shaving Brush is a scary, yet elegant way to shave that man-beard off. Me? I haven’t shaved for like 2 years. I’m going all biblical on your arses. I went outside the other day to fix the walkway and the kids next door were all like, “Hey Moses. Nice stone tablets. You broke your own 1st commandment: Don’t be a fat loser!”

That’s okay, because the night before I did his mom and I’m pretty sure I left her with a burning bush. Also when she got a little rough and squeezed my man junk, I shouted “Let my people go!”

Yeah, so f**k that kid!
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The HeadBlade: A Car Head Shaver That Is Fast And Furious

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headblade shaverThe Headblade shaver is basically a razor with a little matchbox car attached. Vroom. Vroom. Ride and groom. It lets those bald tough guy types shave their heads super fast and super furious! Well, this one looks like an ATV, which I guess is fine, because it is going off road and onto bald mountain.

Maybe buy two. That way you and a buddy can get some racing action going on another friend’s head. Put some Nintendo figures on these and you can call it Super Mario Shavers. “Why does my head feel all bloody guys?” That’s not blood. It’s red mud. These tires really tear up the track. Quit your crying and keep still. I’m almost caught up to Luigi.
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