Monster Valentines Day Cards
Don’t be a monster. Treat your girl or guy right this Valentine’s Day. Give them these Monster Valentines Day Cards. The real monsters are the ones that show up empty handed during VD. These remind me of those fun cards everyone was giving each other in school when I was a kid. Well, I wasn’t getting any. Not much has changed. I’m all grown up and still not getting any.
It’s cool, I usually buy myself 5 pounds of assorted chocolates and lock myself in my room for the day. It’s just like what I imagine the life-cycle of real love is like: A whirlwind romance, with a lot of time spent between the sheets and before you know it, you wake up cramping and not being able to poop for a week. Just guessing.
Anywho these monster valentines are pretty cool. They feature various horror monsters carrying a girl off with a heart behind them. And the girl doesn’t even look that scared compared to that time I tried it and ended up in the Police Station overnight until they decided I was too stupid to be the local serial killer. Unless I was a copy cat. I was like, “no way, I don’t copy. I’m 100 percent original in what I do.” For some reason that made them change their mind and I stayed much longer.