Make Your Own Man Interchangeable Cubes
You ladies can’t all score studs like me. It’s not that there’s not enough of me to go around. There’s plenty in my man-boob area alone thanks to my sedentary blogging lifestyle and my apparent life goal of fitting into a man-bra H cup. It’s just that you’ll need some firemen to break the wall down and a crane operator to lift me out of my home and into that IHOP where I’m taking you on that date and by the time I call the firemen, I’m already way out of breath. You see what I do for you in order to bring you the latest in weird stuff you can buy? *Getting teary eyed* I do it because I love you.
Anyway you can’t have me, so make your own man with these Make Your Own Man Interchangeable Cubes. There’s a surfer dude, a rock star, a money maker or a family man. No blogger? Pffft! Bloggers are the manliest! *Shrieks and jumps out of my chair* A spider!
*Lawyer casually walks over and picks up spider* So you see your honor… Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… He was never fat at all. It was all a lie, perpetuating a blogger stereotype. He doesn’t even have a neck beard!
Stupid lawyer tricks. I almost got away with it.