Skeleton Hands Bra
Man, I love this skeleton hands bra. What? No, not for myself. Girls just look so sexy when old and decrepit bones are holding up their fun bags. Ask any gold-digger. Too bad I don’t know someone who bought this, cuz I would totally paint my hands all black with realistic bones and just cup them stealthily from behind until I got caught and eventually incarcerated. Now do you see why I don’t have anyone of the fairer sex in my life? It’s cuz I’m a real class act! True that!

Fairer sex! Pfft! If they’re so fair, why don’t any of them give me a chance?